Debbie listens to a woman in a mustard-yellow top during a one-to-one conversation.

Manager 1:1s: Turn Meetings Into Development Conversations | CAS

October 29, 2026•2 min read

Rebecca's 1:1 shows what manager coaching can miss

A manager's 1:1 can leave an employee clearer about how to grow—or wondering which part of herself she is supposed to hide. Rebecca was a creative, energetic employee whose clients valued her contributions. Her manager, Joan, preferred a more reserved style. That difference had never been discussed in a useful way.

Then Joan told Rebecca to tone down her energy and be more professional. Rebecca asked what that meant. She did not get a usable answer.

A woman in a mustard top listens with a puzzled expression as a blonde colleague speaks across the table.

Her energy had been part of what made her effective with clients. Now the person who led her had made it sound like a flaw, without naming a behavior or offering a path forward. Rebecca was eventually let go. In the account I share in my book, a later leader recognized her strengths and suggested she use them to mentor newer colleagues. That leader gave her something she could actually do.

What could have happened in the conversation?

I think about how many manager coaching 1:1s are spent on tasks while the person across the table waits to learn whether they are doing well. If Joan had a concern about a meeting, she could have named the specific moment. Was someone interrupted? Did a decision get lost? What did she want Rebecca to do next time? Then she could have listened to Rebecca's view.

Two women discuss a specific example in an open notebook during a one-to-one meeting.

That conversation might still have been difficult. Clear feedback is not a guarantee of agreement or a different employment outcome. It does give a person information they can use instead of a label they are left to interpret alone.

Make the next 1:1 useful

Keep the status update short enough to discuss a real decision or interaction. Ask your employee where they want more ownership. Describe one behavior you appreciated or want to change, and explain its effect. Invite their perspective. Before you end, agree on what each of you will do and when you'll revisit it.

A woman in a mustard top helps a younger colleague at a laptop while a manager listens nearby.

Notice what you bring to the meeting too. Are you asking a question because you want to hear the answer, or because you have already decided who this person is? Rebecca needed a leader who could see her clearly enough to give specific direction.

Coach Academy for Leaders gives managers room to practice conversations like this. The related question of when to direct and when to ask matters in every 1:1.

Before your next 1:1, write down the one thing this person should be able to act on afterward. Could you explain it without using a label like “professional” or “difficult”?

Debbie Forcier

Debbie Forcier is the founder of Cultural Alignment Solutions, helping leaders build high-performing teams through clarity, accountability, and aligned leadership practices.